This post contains 5 glittery term(s): bitch, bullshit, fucks, shit, WTF.

Hey so hi! – #AtoZChallenge

What do I mean by, “Hey so hi!”?

Simple.

This is my funny way of admitting that I am seriously behind on this blogging challenge. Acknowledging that I fell off the wagon. Paying tribute to my lack of presence. Letting you know I know you know I suck.

And I thought maybe a few words about that might be in order.

Hey so hi!

Greetings from the backside! How are things over there in Future Land? I hear that staying the course is a healthy alternative to straying into the weeds and playing in the rough. I won’t even pretend that I’m enjoying it back here where the wild things are. It’s a mess.

However, there are some neat-o postcard thoughts I’d like to share.

I did it!

For instance, while you were trucking along with the challenge, I quit smoking. Yep! Been just over a week now since I’ve had a cigarette. So, you know, I’m not going to get all sad I’m hanging in the rear when I’ve got THAT going for me!

I also spent the weekend with my sister and did some creative outlet kinds of things, also known in my world as scrapbooking. Or, what I honestly like to call “crap” booking since my layouts generally resemble shit, when compared to the gorgeous output of my fellow scrappers.

I always enjoy spending time with my sis and catching up on things, because she is the only one who “gets” me. She validates my childhood memories, which my mom tries to IN-validate on a regular basis. Mom tends to rewrite history in very strange ways, so it’s very important that my sister and I compare notes.

I used a kit to put together my scrapbook stuff, because I’m not overly imaginative most of the time. However, I don’t always follow the directions. And by “don’t always” of course I mean “almost never” because the instructions call for ugly things that I hate. So I will put the squares exactly where they are supposed to go, and measure most of the boxes accurately, but then add decorations and whatnot as I see fit. I seldom like their wording, which I know you find shocking, so I tend to make up my own phrases. When they want me to use a stamp that says something like “Wise beyond your years” I like to use something more funny like “Bowties are cool” because my family relates more to Doctor Who than to phrases about being smart.

SMART! *snort* AS IF!

I would like to say something smart here, like that it’s okay to take a break and disappear from life. But that wouldn’t be very responsible of me. And also, it might get you in trouble if you, unlike me, have deadlines. So, yeah. Don’t take a break unless you have a good reason and be sure to let people know where you are.

Disappearing isn’t good. And missing deadlines can get you fired if you have one of those job things. I’m a bad, bad example of good blogging and writing habits. I’m like a walking list of what NOT to do.

National Sibling Day can suck it!

April 10. And for realz. No fucks were given.

We also briefly did a collective WTF with regard to this new and crazy thing you guys tried to slip past us called National Sibling Day . We are in agreement that you only just now made that shit up. Don’t even bother commenting that it’s been around for years, because I know you’re full of crap. Nope – zzzt – just hush. It’s not gonna work. You’re a liar and can’t be trusted.

Hey so hi, Blog!

Sorry I have neglected you. Mommy is home. Don’t jump on me. I’m allergic to your fur and bullshit.

Hey so hi, AtoZ!

I will be adding posts here like a mad woman throughout April. I want to finish on time with everyone else.

Hey so hi, Interwebz!

I can’t honestly say I’ve missed you, Twitter and Facebook. But I will make an effort to stop back in, now that I’m here. Just don’t be a bitch about it, okay?

Hey so hi, Book!

You and I have seen some rough times, haven’t we? Heh! But after that three-hour conversation with my son, wherein I explained all the plot points and the map as he enthusiastically continued asking questions, I am ready to leap back in. I will see you tonight. {*ooo-la-la! A secret rendezvous*}

Hey so hi, Readers!

I am still making an effort to stop by all your blogs. I’m slowly but surely going to say hello to each of you individually. Don’t give up on me. Hang in there.

And… how have YOU all been?

Visit My April AtoZ 2014 Posse to see who I’m making time for this month.

Or stop by my post The Great and Powerful AtoZ Challenge Theme Reveal to see a list of all my AtoZ entries for 2014.

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